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:: So Far - [Outro]
2007-08-01 13:31:00
"Looking back at all the previous posts; I noticed how exposed I am: naked, but not in my bed room. I dated men and never had the guts to show them my blog: I felt that they would be having the privilege of knowing too much en excès about my personal little details; I even denied linking myself to the blog when I was asked." Only a couple more days to go, and the clock would announce; not sure whether happily, doubtfully, sadly, ironically or something else; my birthday.Again, I would hang out with Shatz and Samer, drink and dance the night away, fall in a couple of surprise parties where I have to act totally blown away. I would gracefully smile at my friends' faces, thank them deeply and wonder: how deep have I affected their souls? How is really important this day is to them?Would it be much different if I shared it with a life partner? Or is it better me partying, a single 20 something guy, alone; with shiny eyes reflecting lust, sadness and a psycho touch of deep happiness that


Merry-Go-Round
2007-07-27 13:06:00
Sorry for the delay and thanks for asking -The blog will be updated shortly.- Digg.


:: So Far - [intro]
2007-06-29 12:20:00
Looking back at all the previous posts; I noticed how exposed I am: naked, but not in my bed room. I dated men and never had the guts to show them my blog: I felt that they would be having the privilege of knowing too much en excès about my personal little details; I even denied linking myself to the blog when I was asked. Although I am actually dating someone; the idea of letting him visit this space could never be realised (at least till this very moment). His best friend happens to be one of ... and then God created Men! fans; and I draw a cold smile on my face whenever he relates to an event; line or just the whole feeling and warmth he gets when he is reading the blog.I have been also asked many times about the latest details about all the mentioned guys -and I must admit; major changes happened either in my personal life or my nautika one.Knowing that my last post was more than a month ago; and yes; I am still alive thank you for asking in all those mails; I believe I must have




:: Just Say "Yes"
2007-05-14 12:33:00
"When a relationship dies do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past” -Carrie BradshawCairo; one big city with many opportunities of meeting low class or sexually confused guys. If you go for a round in Jardino, you'd certainly see the fancy BMW flashing for some trashy looking guy and hooking him up, or maybe you'd come across that boy who only picks up soldiers; pay them and drive them back to their guarding post after blowing them; no matter what sexual orientation they have. You are actually having the typical queer life picture in my capital: fags who beg for a fuck, queens who shake their booties to catch the biggest dick, guys who love for the sake of having sex, others get committed just to show off how desired they are, or simple others who deny love, because they were badly hurt to the extent that they are scared to experience that delightful feeling again.I have proudly joined the latter group.As usual, three desper


Temporary Post Used For Style Detection (d590c9e2-85b4-4698-9fd2-b5f79c513585)
2007-05-08 08:56:00
This is a temporary post that was not deleted. Please delete this manually. (4f8429dc-5005-4c6a-86c7-a74cdb0ec599)


:: My End of Sight
2007-04-12 09:30:00
" We'd gather around all in a room, fasten our belts, engage in dialogue. We'd all slow down, rest without guilt, not lie without fear, disagree sans jugement. We would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and open and reach out and speak up. " - Alanis MorissetteCircles.I drew circles.Tears want to explode off my sorrowed eyes; flow down, wet my cheeks, going up my lip, down my tongue.Salty, reminding me of the beach; the day I was with Him building a big castle of sand, bigger than the one I drew in my dreams.More circles.Salty tears reminding me the night I aimlessly drove when I knew that Miky was attracted to Shatz. The only person towards whom I felt real emotions, after my disastrous break-up, was playing me. Did he intend to do that? Finding myself stuck in the middle of that emotional ménage-à-trois was nothing but a never ending dark pit.I wish I could figure out the rea




:: ContrAddicted
2007-04-03 11:20:00
Wherever I've been, the same gay attitude is followed everywhere in the world. Whether it is Amsterdam or Riyadh, our community lives the same scenarios, parties, gatherings, gossips, heartbreaks and many other different aspects of the typical queer life. We were sitting in the Harry's Pub, having our cocktails and drinks when Wael called me:"Hey Digg! I just finished work. Where are you guys?""We just reached the Harry's. Hurry up, is Amgad coming with you?""Yep. On our way."They had just got committed a month before. In fact, they have just bought two white gold rings to celebrate their eternal love to come. Although they met in a very uncommon story, and despite my doubts about what could be the real intentions behind Amgad's Pay It Forward good deeds, I was kind of convinced when I saw them taking their love-life-to-be in a serious way. Amgad was Wael's 27th Lover."Samer, I said while ending the call, they are coming. Please try to be cool with it, would you?"Samer just looked


:: More Freaks on the Loose
2007-03-21 09:59:00
" I'm trouble,Yeah trouble now,I'm trouble ya'll,I got trouble in my town! "- P!nkWhy do you have to fake your emotions, if they all would fall back in one big lie discovered after a rarely sensational, usually devastating, fuck? I tried seeing an excuse for all this rather unexplained attitude, I failed convincing myself with any given reason. Dicks, butts, bareback or protected: it's the same scenario. What is astonishing in this matter, not only the fact of lying, but the whole stage built for one target: get into your pants. Why don't you simply walk closer, come next to my ear and whisper: I want to fuck you. I believe I would have an exceptional sex night that way. Please, no drama!He fell in love 26 times. When I asked him how could he has done that, he simply said: "I felt weak infront of them. They all loved me". I had to stop and think: were all relationships these days a one sided direction love equations? Do we all get satisfied when we are loved -or even worshipped by


:: A Red Marlboro Pack
2007-03-01 13:32:00
" Have you Confessed? " - Madonna's Confessions Tour."Don't you ever think controlling my friends!", He said as He was walking out of our house. I had to wait for a couple of minutes in order to breathe! I was dying to have a cigarette, but I promised Him that I would never smoke again. Love made me stop two of my favorite habits: smoking and getting drunk. I became a modified version of myself which I liked to a certain extent but longed to my true self sometimes. I felt worry, feeling that He was dating others, that evolved into rage when He had told me a week before that He met that singer and started hanging out together. He insisted that they were friends, I insisted that this was their scenario till He confessed, a couple of days later, that the Star took Him in a tour in Jardino. He said that He rejected him. I say that they both screwed me.I calmed down and called him. He didn't answer me. It was clear: we were on a break. That fight wasn't a simple one. I could smell His l


:: Him (interlude)
2007-02-22 10:36:00
" Don't want to think about it,Don't want to talk about it,I'm just so sick about it,Can't believe it's ending this way.Just so confused about it,Feeling the blues about it,I just can't do without ya,Tell me is this fair? "- Justin Timberlake.Picture this: A warm summer night in mid April, about three years after their mere souls had met. Right next to the wall on which they planted the Honeysuckle with its sweet white yellowish flowers which aroma was delightfully covering the whole garden, by that time reduced to become a garage for His family's cars, right on top of the large marble steps that lead to His family's house entrance; Digg stood in front of Him shacked, unfocused with an urge to cry, if only his head could fully get what He was telling him.There, right infront of Digg, He was sitting, crossing his legs while wearing a white sortie-de-bain that He had bought earlier from Malaysia. Calmly and confidently, He was stressing on one decision, His own. That time, He did


:: I Fell For an Enigma - [Part II]
2007-02-18 11:52:00
" Everything is youHow can I pull throughMy heart is consumed I'm so confusedStill caught up in you. Love can be so cruelBaby don't know how to turn you loose "- Mariah Carey.Adrenaline rushed in my veins when his warm lips were pressing against mine, parking next to my car, making me fall deeper in his Rabbit's Hole. Poor Alice, if she had only known what would be waiting for her on the other side, she wouldn't have followed him from the first place; nor would have I.I blushed. He slowly touched my cheek, and for the first time, I saw deep inside his eyes; even though the street was dimmed because of some missing lamps. I couldn't think about what to say or what to do in such confusing, unexpected, amazingly delighting moment. Should I admit to myself Loving him that fast? I couldn't make up my mind about how serious could my feelings be towards him, but I surely did know that I felt secured and happy whenever he was around. I loved his calls and short messages that kept flowing


:: I Fell For an Enigma - [Part I]
2007-02-13 13:14:00
"Would you pretend, we're only friends, if I kissed you?" -Nadia AliAlthough it was mid July when we met, I was freezing. My heart was like a cold stone inside my chest; too heavy to carry, too uncomfortable to move around with and too hurt to feel. The amount of tears I cried left my eyes dry, yet I was so much in need to let go more sorrow out of my soul. I could barely talk to anyone, since I didn't have friends that would listen to me. I had just come out of my only relationship. So had Miky.Welcome to the Broken Hearts Valley. The land where freshly ended relationships victims thrive and try to cope with life. That's where I met Miky, a handsome 26 years old engineer, handsome and full of surprises. We kept on talking over the phone for a while, I neither had seen him nor had seen his picture but I was interested in his personality: he was young with a successful career, spoke fluent French in addition to English and Arabic. When we finally decided meeting, I was planing my tri


:: The Secret Fuck
2007-01-29 13:09:00
How many of us had one of those sex dates with someone they knew they would be totally ashamed even mentioning them in their own minds? The whole package, starting from their personality and look till the way you had sex, spawning through the conversations that you tried to have or fake in order to find any positive aspect to explain the humiliating act that you would be doing?Let me introduce you my shame: Sherif. A 25 years old single guy, destiny made him across my way on a Saturday morning while I was browsing online Cairo gay users on Yahoo! Chat rooms. He had a nice picture displaying his body, a good shot of his face, showing some cute features and a promising 7 inch tool. When I started chatting with him, I lost interest when I discovered that he types only in Arabic: since Internet is a western creation, then when in Rome, do as the Romans do! I tried selecting easier vocabulary so I would be able to communicate with him since I cannot chat in Arabic under any circumstances. S


:: The Wake-Up Call
2007-01-22 11:15:00
" Baby, look what we've becomeWe can make a million promisesBut we still won't changeIt isn't right to stay togetherWhen we only bring each other pain "- Mariah Carey.Being best friend with Samer has made some radical changes in me during our friendship way that grew slowly, with time, making us gain trust in each other first then influence each other's decisions and making sure we can now totally brighten each other's moods, believing in our good intentions. Being best friend with Samer made me also go deeper inside his hedged maze relationship he was having with Jack. I believe that I should bring up his topic after all this time, now that he needs to understand what he is going through.Meet Jack: A successful good looking mid twenties man. He follows a certain career that ensures him a good income and a decent guaranteed life style. Jack is a sweet guy, most people agree upon his good manners, appropriate behavior and balanced low toned way of talking. He's smart, smarter than


:: That's My Prerogative
2007-01-06 03:16:00
" People can take everything away from youBut they can never take away your truthBut the question is..Can you handle mine? "- Britney Spears.Since we coexist among homophobes, straights, allegedly straights and gays in denial; we have faced some pretty frustrating moments and other fun ones. The dates we actually get laid with swing between hot and passionate ones to the what-the-hell-am-I-doing-here ones. When it comes to embarrassing moments in public or with friends, we can remember a long list of funny things that would entertain us even before we share it with others. Being gay makes you always see the world in a different perspective than others, since you are in touch with your inner self as well as having your systems always alerted (either for hunting other men or paying attention not to blow your cover for those group of people who would really disdain you if they knew). How much can you venture? How honest can you be? How would it be, if you were in my shoes?It was early Aut


:: "Mou Lipis, Agapi Mou" - [Part III]
2006-12-17 11:18:00
" and darkness falls in my eyes,and days are far from rosy now,and if I asked for the sky,would you still shelter mewhen the sky, falls ?I rememberI remember "- TiëstoThough I was in the middle of nowhere, cold air going through the mountains and reaching under my light black shirt, though it was all dark around me, nothing was seen except the stars' faint light, nothing was heard but the sound of the sea smashing on the rocks and distant sounds of cars passing quickly on the high way; I felt warmth while my hands were squeezed between Ewan's palms. I felt comfortable and secured, just thinking that he was next to me, asking me to follow him. He came near the end of the cliff and whispered, as if he didn't want to disturb nature as it was: "This is my hiding spot. I come here, have a cigarette and watch the horizon". I was amazed, how he had discovered this place; it was totally random, very hard to notice; but it was beautiful. He quickly sat on the cliff's edge, knowing every in
Read more: Mou Lipis, Agapi Mou

:: "Mou Lipis, Agapi Mou" - [Part II]
2006-12-14 09:28:00
"You give me, you're giving me the sweetest tabooToo good for meThere's a quiet stormAnd it never felt like this beforeThere's a quiet stormThat is you"- SadeWe have always dreamt that one day, the handsome Prince would come on his white horse and not only love you unconditionally and eternally, but declare and show his love to everyone, breaking all the fears and not-allowed-to's. Making you believe in love as it should be, and appreciate that someone has finally come on your way to rescue you from all the scattered thoughts and feelings that you have been living with. It is a great joy, and tremendous feeling of security and safety when you find someone who shares you the same desires and needs, and even goes beyond your previously drawn wildest limits.. is it?My Prince came riding a Pegasus, unexpectedly changed my life. Who could ever predict that a simple crush in Sharm al Sheikh, me walking in his Bazaar, would make us reach that moment, in Mohandessine, in a Syrian restauran
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:: "Mou Lipis, Agapi Mou" - [Part I]
2006-12-11 11:08:00
"Oh, when you walk by every nightTalking sweet and looking fineI get kinda hectic insideMmm, baby I'm so into youDarling, if you only knewAll the things that flow through my mind(But it's just a) sweet, sweet fantasy, baby" -Mariah CareyOnce upon a time, Zeus fell for the mortal Alkmênê. He couldn't resist her charms and beauty. Dared to sleep with her though he was married to the mighty and beautiful Hera. The fruit of that marriage gave a hunk, a splendid, free and creative Hercules. He always believed that he hadn't one place called home, he always wanted to travel everywhere and discover the unknown; made fun of all risks and dangers that threatened him and enjoyed overcoming them all. His emotions and feelings were never permanent, but changing and varying with every person he used to meet going from Amazon Women to mere mortal females; until he loved the one: Deïaneira, daughter of the King of Calydon. Because of his true love; she had to die; so Hercules would go back to
Read more: Mou Lipis, Agapi Mou

:: Freaks on the Loose
2006-11-28 12:59:00
"I'll be your sexual freak, of the week!" -George Michael, Freeek! December 1stThe world promised to stop AIDS by 2015If you go deeper in any Gay Community all over the world; you'd find the funniest; scariest; strangest; weirdest facts ever. You just need to be an observer who captures cases and analyses them later to get the juicy outcome. I had a bunch of dates; some are scary, others are fun but certainly they are all strange.Since Jardino is the gay headquarters in Egypt; the MotherShip for all Aliens; whoever is cruising there after 1am is homosexual. Guys meet others; dates; hook-ups and even french kisses. He was cruising as usual that Thursday night when he noticed another car passing next to him. As usual, he looked over his right shoulder to rate the guy and decide whether to accelerate and run away (sign of rejection) or slow down next to him and keep sending the silent meaningful looks and check him out. With that particular guy; he had to press on the acceleration pedal


:: Message in a Bottle
2006-11-01 14:51:00
MIRAGE: mirraa&ulzh;/ • noun 1 an optical illusion caused by atmospheric conditions, especially the appearance of a sheet of water in a desert or on a hot road caused by the refraction of light by heated air. 2 something illusory.— ORIGIN French, from Latin mirare ‘look at’; cf. MIRROROne of my usual holy habits is traveling to Alexandria every week-end. I just pack my quick stuff that are handy: my cool shirt, jeans, naughty pants, condoms, bathing set, laptop and iPod for a soft musical background if needed; and off I go! I spend one night in there, away from Cairo, away from my hectic life, feeling free in my hotel room, ready to date anyone -if "anyone" good enough exists! I usually end up dating 3 or 4 guys and come back to my cold hotel room alone, around 5 am, drunk, sit by my room's window in the 11th floor and look at the sea, the raging Mediterranean sea, since I prefer going there during winter time. I just follow the trail of my smoke, while it evades by the op


:: A little too much Diphenhydramine
2006-10-21 20:52:00
"hmmm, I want it all in me", he said; between two pleasure moans.I just leaned forward, went softly on his shoulder, touched his skin, kissed his neck, and went up his warm, now sweaty body till I reached his ear. I just floated my lips around, letting him feel my warm breath, and said gently:"Are you sure.. One more time?""Yes, baby", he replied; with a very exciting firm tone. I pushed, he moaned, ... I fainted!........Some Internet users, not so out of the closet gay guys out there haven't added their profiles neither on gayDar nor on ManJam yet. You should spread your spider web elsewhere, other places where you can catch some other flies, some other boys. That's when I log on to FacePic. If you search for a "any sexuality", "male", "online now", "Cairo" -all the results are crowded with gay people. Over 90% are stamped with the Rainbow. Those who are wrongly mixed in the crowed, say it out loud in their profile: Sorry guys, I am not Gay. He might be bisexual (not my type and the


:: The Frog Prince
2006-10-17 13:31:00
"... when the wrong one loves you right!" -Céline Dion.I still remember that time before I got committed; when I was so weak and vulnerable. I longed for a warm hug and a thrilling touch. A tender look, a soft word. I got committed soon after and I longed for freedom. Fun. Naughty life and partying like crazy. Looks like we are never satisfied with what we have.We used to gather in this UN representative house, Human Rights department (yeah, and Gay. Aren't all Human Rights activists gay? Who has the teddy bear heart, the positive thinking and the sense of giving but us, the Rainbow Generation?). I was around my 19th year back then, my Golden Years! That was when I first met Mahmoud. He was a very elegant, sophisticated guy. Such a classy person in the way he talks, entertaining while he speaks, full of wonders when you listen to him. Mahmoud used to go to Gym, play Tennis and swim regularly. He had a successful career and very good friends. He used to speak many languages: English,


:: Gay it Forward
2006-10-15 19:56:00
We, as senior Gay Guys, have a certain commitment towards all the new freshly out-of-closet Gay Boys. We should adopt them, lead them to the light, let them evolve from the chrysalis phase to blossom into a magnificent Butterfly; that flies, jumps from one flower to the other; sucking its nectar and cherishing life! We should... Gay it Forward.We all have been down that road: we were new-comers one day, most of us are seniors by now. There has always been someone leading our way; someone pushing us to have our first baby steps in the Wild Wild Gay World, to accept ourselves, our own orientation. We met Them. We led Them. We suffered with Them.It was on a sunny day in June 1999 when I was online. Prior to gayDar Holy Shopping Stands; there was Gay.com Heavy Java Chat Rooms. You had to wait a couple of minutes before you click the "CHAT" button and a huge list of countries pops, with your hungry eyes and mouse wheel, you scroll quickly to reach the "EGYPT" section and see the total amoun


:: Appetizer
2006-10-12 17:19:00
All over the years; you just live your days in some faint hope, that grows sometimes and dies some other days, meeting Mister Right. Poor Mister Right; he is having a lot of work to do; satisfying thousands and thousands of Gay guys (including the slutty ones, the one-night standers and the psychos). All over those years; I met people; I saw people; I've been with people who knew people. Mister Right is a Myth: you might see a UFO, be abducted but not meet Mister Right. As a matter of fact; we always hear about Aliens.. have you ever heard about Mister Right? Anybody found one in sight? Friend of your friend's neighbor ever knew about someone who heard talking about an existing Mister Right in a certain era? -nah!On the other hand, Mister Right Fakers do exist. They are common, they are everywhere! I knew a lot; met even more and heard stories; stories that I want to share in here. Real stories; real moments; real mess!For some strange reason, and I've noticed this lately, I've bee


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