Owner: Sexualitè URL:http://www.chaosnoir.com Join Date: Fri, 23 Feb 2007 16:45:30 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: It's not about the ultimate destination but the journey you take, and the bumpy pot holes along the way.Erotica with a little bite, sex & the intellectual,social and personal, with a little chaos thrown in.
“Love making is physical, and so is its language…” 2007-03-11 12:06:52 I stood in a checkout queue this afternoon flicking through Cosmo; I felt proud as I replaced the magazine on its stand ( I quit forking out cash for women's magazines two years ago, and smoking's next), but I did come across an article titled, ‘Sex, as you like it,’ and one thing that remained in my mind is how magazines tend to shoot for the generalizations. As I like it? I thought about it, did the quick arithmetic. There’s a difference between making love, and fucking; I believe that everyone has sadomasochistic tendencies, so domination and submission often enters the sexual equation in different forms, and it doesn’t end there.
A person can like sex in many different forms, depending on mood. Last night I was sorting my CD collection and came across a gem of a song on my Ministry of Sound Chillout Session 2 CD that I hadn’t listened to in a while, so I put it on. It’s not a three thousand word treatise on how people ought to make love/fuck/screw/engage/amalgamate Read more:Love, physical
Male on Sunday 17 2007-03-11 08:25:38 “I'm notorious for giving a bad interview. I'm an actor and I can't help but feel I'm boring when I'm on as myself.” - Rock Hudson
Being the precocious child, I’d annoy my mother, remain awake until whatever time to watch various films on television; we didn’t have the option of a larger house, and lived in a one room granny flat at the time. It was all that she could afford, so I couldn’t help but stay up late to watch the late movie, sometimes catching the late-late movie. When re-runs of my mother’s favorite show commenced, so did our arguments. Our taste in male leading actors differed; she adored Roger Moore (circa: the Saint), and I couldn’t understand why. His cavalier take on every script/role didn’t rub me right, and this cavalier aura followed him through a few James Bond films; I adore James Bond as a character, but I’ve only seen the Moore films once. When my mother took me to the cinema to see For Your Eyes Only, as a birthday treat, I asked h
Circa: April 2004 2007-03-09 13:21:23 When one is in an absolute state of erotic bliss, happily entranced in another, one can write the most...well... things that one normally doesn't jot down in the course of the average day, only to peer into the vault, retrace each sentence and relive the moments.
All I'll say is that I felt like a complete cradle snatcher at the time, although unintentional, and it was thrilling to walk through every emotion...
~~~
April, 2004
Lodged within my own, custom crafted oblivion, in my own little world for you to scuttle in, a hermit crab. We inspect everything, from our eyes to our fidgety quirks. I’m yet to see all the steam that will escape - when our lips eventually meet - from each pore in our skin. Sitting as I speak, your eyes may hide or reveal - all your desires in one single swill. I cannot see, I am blind for my mind is swerving to avoid a bloody collision while those elastic ligaments within my knees quiver like guitar strings. Trying to run, to escape from somethi
??????????=Paradise 2007-03-08 11:39:49 It was during my online travels that I came across Paradise Lost and thought, 'Wow, how creamy is this!' and it's exciting for me, because it's rare to come across an erotic blog that's written in a language other than English. The full title of this Greek blog is, "Paradise Lost - Bite the Apple" and whoa what a bit. It's a plus for me. Although it's been many years since I've written anything in Greek, I can still read it and there are differences between the two. A person doesn't have to use so many words in Greek to get a point, or emotion, across to a reader and the erotic elements don't have to be crass, or in one's face to have an erotic effect. If I could list one regret in my life, it's not taking the time to move forth with the language. I speak it, but my vocabulary isn't strong enough for story compositions, or any type of Greek composition and I think that's the small price every migrant pays over the years, regardless of all the hours spent in Gree
About... 2007-03-08 03:39:07 I'm not a huge fan of updating my profile anywhere, adding 'about me' stuff and coming up with biographies and things, but I think the introduction or profile page on a blog comes in handy.
For me, this primarily relates to short updates as they unfold, that relate on the status of the blog because I can't be bothered writing entire posts per update. My most recent update, on my About Page, concerns the subject of linking, as well as the habit others have of making out they're doing other bloggers a favor, and following up with emails demanding linkage. To me they're similar to blog telemarketers, and I don't have time for that. I'd like to remind those sorts - who follow up with emails requesting something, like they're doing a favor - that this page, for me, isn't a professional writing page, it's 80% hobby for me. It's not like I'll die if I don't link to sites that are 90% advertising, and hardly no original content.
It's one of the issues on my About page, am
The Collector - II 2007-03-07 12:16:18 I was going to apply a few dark shades to the story today, but thought it too early. When the heavy duty stuff comes out, I'll post a pre-emptive warning sign or something and the content will be under the continuation cut.
The Collector - II
Her warm, aching thighs gradually ushered her to consciousness; she sluggishly pushed through a dream, attempted to run, and awoke to the aroma of burnt toast. The odour, long absent, dragged her out of bed; she recalled her last breakfast in the kitchen, balancing on the stool as her brother Roddick hulked over the gas stove. She’d just turned eighteen; they barely knew each other. Roddick returned to sort out the estate after their mother died. Freshly divorced, he relaxed into his role as her sole guardian. It took him little time to promote himself, and fully transform into the Lord of their ramshackle manor.
She entered the kitchen; James stood, clad in a towel, over the sink.
“What are you doing?” she’d aske
Celeb Adoptions & George Clooney 2007-03-06 12:37:30 A quick post. I came across a funny quote in today's Telegraph (this quote's been syndicated, and appeared in the NZ Herald) , attributed to George Clooney. The quote was supposed to represent his take on the rising craze of celebrity adoptions:
"I am looking to adopt a good-looking 24 year old with some cash."
Dear George,
I'm happy that you've decided to adopt, but I think that all is fair in lust and...adoption. You've said, and I quote:
"I'm going to eat, drink and be merry. And screw what happens to my appearance while I do it!"
a) I can be good looking. Besides that, what's 'good-looking' when it's all about panache. I've got panache, and I can distinguish between fake and genuine Louis Vuitton, but besides that I do like foie gras, and a decent bottle of plonk (you can name the vintage). So we can be merry and...screw...what happens to our appearance.
b) I'm not wealthy, but I think you've got more than enough for fifty lifetimes.
c) I'm eleve
The Collector - Fiction (Part I) 2007-03-04 15:25:55 I haven’t felt any urges to write pleasurable erotica, not since January anyhow. I’m hoping to continue having fun with Metamorphosis, the contemporary sans Christianity themed vampire story I started last year, but for today I thought of another kind of story. The Collector isn’t a touchy feely story. I’ll tell you from now that it won’t have a nice pretty ending. The sex is as far from the romantic stream that one can get. It’s not erotica, but a story containing sex. The two things that I thought of as I began it were Bluebeard and vineyards.
The Collector - I
The night sky exploded in splashes of quicksilver. Each vein impregnated the sky before knifing the earth. Samantha deeply inhaled, folded her arms across her chest and felt the type of accomplishment one felt after a tumultuous round in bed. Renewed, she turned, and smiled at her visitor, who sat with his back against her timber bed head.
“Better be careful,” she nodded toward the makeshift shelf abo
Well Hung Window Cleaner? 2007-03-04 07:07:11 I received this via email and couldn't resist it.
We're talking inches of innuendo...
Whacky Websites & Sexual Innuendo 2007-03-04 06:37:57 Taking the time to carefully select a URL for your site is important.
How Important?
Well, I want you to see if you can pick out the Double Speak in each URL below. Now I'm wondering if site owners realized this from the start, and went ahead, or they discovered the uncanny words within the URL after, and cringed until their eyeballs popped out.
These sites are all legit:
If you've run out of pens, and need one. Go to Pen Island: www.penisland.net
If you're a programmer and want to join a network: www.expertsexchange.com
If you need to look up an agent: www.whorepresents.com
Need a therapist?: www.therapistfinder.com
Not sure why you'd need the Italian Power Generator Co, but if you do: www.powergenitalia.com
For those in Australia. Need native plants?: www.molestationnursery.com
If you need to find a Methodist Church, try the one at Cumming: www.cummingfirst.com (LMAO!)
Visit Nigel Talamo's site here, no it's not about speedy farts: www.speedofart.co
Male on Sunday 16 - ???? ??? ??????? ?????? 2007-03-03 14:50:44 “People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” – Jim Morrison
"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite." – The Marriage of Heaven and Hell (William Blake).
Jim Morrison was always on the cards for Male on Sunday, but the idea daunted me because The
Date Portents... 2007-03-03 06:36:19 Tango on Yahoo provides some interesting articles on dating, and everything related to dating. Mark Shnayerson’s article on Dating Red Flags is a great read because articles on dating, particularly on male only blogs and dating sites, often come across as being a little stereotypical (overdone with step by step piecemeal instructions) and New Age. Adults learn from every ridiculous date they experience, and just when we think that a certain phase is all but over, there are plenty more horrid dates that can follow.
Shnayerson’s Red Flags are also titled the Dirty Dozen, and I could relate to each one.
He has a problem with ketchup and eggs, in the same way that I do with beer on an empty stomach. I’ve never understood how grown men, regular pub goers, wake up and trot off the pub each morning for their brekky beer.
I’ve often considered myself to be the Cruella de Ville of dating; one wrong move, and I’ll skin them alive (translated: never sit in the same venue with the da
Sean Ashby Bummed off by Janice Dickinson 2007-03-02 05:52:49 What do you get when you get Janice Dickinson, Perez Hilton, David Cooley and Peter Hamm auditioning blokes for Aussie Bum?
A farce? I personally couldn’t believe I sat there watching Perez give tips to guys who had less body fat than what he had.
“Lose weight and you can be the next Molly Ringwald,” Janice told a guy. What makes me laugh is that Janice and Perez would not be there if they weren’t hired by Sean Ashby.
Perez Hilton urged his readers to watch the episode: You must watch this tonight! Why? Because they’re going to ‘fuck’ everyone’s television screens, but they didn’t prepare for Sean Ashby screwing Janice Dickinson by treating her the same way as the Donald treats his eager apprentices. I personally wouldn’t like to be fucked by Perez or Janice, then again Perez would prefer Brad Pitt (going by the pictures he posts in his blog), and Janice her plastic surgeon.
"I've had two children!" she says to a bloke, during the auditions, as though h
Toxic Bachelors 2007-03-01 14:26:12 I don’t know what’s more offensive: Seeing Flavio in his itty bitty swimmers or reading through the list of toxic bachelors at RadarOnline.
It just goes to show that a celebrity can say the most hideous thing and get away with it.
If an ordinary bloke uttered the following to me:
"If a fucking camera could blush it would be fucking red because you are so fucking pretty."
I’d barf.
But is Colin Farrell ‘ordinary’, in the sense of hanging out at your local café, or bending over at a building site to reveal his ass crack? I’m betting there are thousands of women who read that quote and thought, ‘aww how sexy.’ When a person uses ‘fucking’ three times in one sentence they need to brush up on their education or conversational skills; I’m amazed he absorbs his scripts. He’s awfully cute! (forget I typed that).
Flavio Briatore is a funny bloke:
"The big excitement comes with the flirting. You flirt, flirt, flirt, and then you are there."
I’m
Sex Lives of the 'Holy & Divine' 2007-03-01 11:12:54 It’s often a case of politicians or celebrities going into uber damage control mode, but the latest developments in Israel will probably open all theological missile silos. The story relating James Cameron’s recent find, the alleged - albeit empty - tomb of Jesus, is more newsworthy than Mel Gibson's DUI. This tomb is said to have also housed Mary Magdalene, and their son. Cameron is backing up his claim via DNA tests.
The repercussions, should this be proven authentic, are astounding.
Firstly, the crucifixion would be null and void.
Second, the role of Pontius Pilot would be non existent - despite current doubts of his existence (although writings from humble servants have been located in various ancient civilizations, the writings of Pilate have never been located).
Third, the Holy See will tremble with fear.
The good thing?
Every pain in the arse, loud mouthed TV Evangelist would have to pipe down, and no more Hillsong concerts in Australia, which also means t Read more:sex
Cranky Pants Sans Panty-Liners 2007-02-28 12:13:14 What’s a man’s worst nightmare?
- PMT twice a month
That’s how my morning commenced. I awoke, stood and felt the trickle, thinking that it couldn’t be! I got my period earlier this month, too early and probably the result of a stressful January, and again today.
I’ve arrived to the conclusion that PMT is nature’s way of saying, ‘give me a F#$%king break!’ It can also serve as a testing ground in relationships; it’s like female physiology 101: a practical course of feminine chaos with hygiene elements thrown in for fun.
“I’ve run out of tampons, can you get me some?” uttered sometime after midnight, or when all the nearest corner stores are closed, can put a male in a tailspin. We have a funny commercial here where a bloke is buying tampons for his missus and he can’t distinguish between the absorbency/tampon size on the packet so he uses his dick as a yardstick, looking at his groin between selection intervals.
Mini?
(You’ve got to be kidding, I’m n
Scenic Night 2007-02-26 15:37:07 I decided to update Scenes with a short piece tonight. I even found myself a matching fellatio picture. So it's been a bit of a scenic night for me where blowjobs are concerned. Blowjobs can be many things. Depending on the type of scene, they can signify domination. Alternatively they may serve as a voyeuristic tool. Whichever way, one thing that can't be denied or refuted is that fellatio - the blowjob - is the ultimate gesture because no other gesture signifies cock adoration as the blowjob. (between consenting parties, of course)
Scenes was just something that I thought I'd begin, basically a fun for all where people (bloggers and non bloggers), could post their erotic fiction, read, or use it as a writing resource (there are a few writer links on the taskbar). It's primarily based on a 1000 word limit per post, and at the time when I commenced it there were a couple of other adult oriented community blogs opened by other bloggers.
Either way, it was really slow and it i
Liaisons: Exposed 2007-02-26 09:58:50 My experience with S more or less led me to the conclusion, which I still maintain today, of the Internet providing another – perhaps easier – gateway to sex. Prior to S, my first older female-younger male thing, I broke the sexual drought with A. I’ve documented that period in parts but I don’t think I detailed the specifics of the meeting and that’s partially due to the stigma attached to meeting people online. Mind, I wasn’t actively dating or perusing online dating profiles at this point, I was still engaged – in what I thought to be – in socializing, and came across A.
Regardless of the rising popularity of online dating, and/or online testimonials of relationship success, the method isn’t discussed openly. I still blanch each time people ask me questions (within my real world) about my online experiences. I’m not embarrassed, but I am; I feel I could have done better at the time, and that I let myself down by conforming to a particular social fad that’s
Liaisons: Double Entendre, Sex & Convenience 2007-02-25 21:54:18 The electronic realm, or cyberspace we we’ve come to know it, offers a variety of pathways. A person can fabricate many things. I sometimes call it virtual fudging: the elaborate ploys to shift from virtual to real-time fucking, and I tend to parallel the methods used with Stockholm syndrome. The first step always involves the formation of a bond, and a person doesn’t have to focus on one person in particular, all they need to do is throw the bait and wait for the fish to bite. That’s the first step, and the second, once the fish bites, is to experiment, in order to locate the weakness. The most common weakness is loneliness. Funnily enough, those who monitor their ideal prey are the weakest of all, which is why they prefer to do their ‘dating’ online. They have difficulty in social situation requiring face-to-face communication, their confidence is often shot to pieces, and cyberspace provides them with the perfect buffer to obscure these facets. Therefore, to the unsuspecti Read more:sex
Male on Sunday - 15 2007-02-25 00:13:27 “I don’t know what I may seem to the world, but, as to myself, I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered items before me.” – Sir Isaac Newton.
Sage, scientist, intellectual and alchemist, the humble beginnings of this man were contrary to his final destination; perhaps one of the most innovative minds, a mind that is yet to be surpassed, he is what Leonardo da Vinci could have become should he have been permitted to study medicine and other sciences at university level.
One is frequently introduced to Sir Isaac Newton in high school, and up to a limit, just enough to gain an understanding of core scientific theories, such as the Laws of Motion and calculus (although this branch of mathematics is also attributed to Leibniz: a shared credit, as it were), among other things. His Thirties saw him with gray,
Liaisons: Popping the Virtual Cherry 2007-02-24 11:33:16 The pursuit of knowledge offers a person more freedom than the shackles of social custom: to grow up, court, marry/co-habit and procreate are all embedded in the thing known as routine. These elements are shadowed by other sub-elements: socializing, functions, arguments and rituals are all part and parcel of routine, they’re threaded into social and cultural networks, and if one doesn’t stop to evaluate these things every so often, time dissolves, and one may wonder where it all goes.
Does one really desire these things, or are they absorbed like routine Brand X cereal each morning; something one has to have? The difference between the two, cereal and routine, depends on various factors. Cereal provides immediate nourishment, while the other may or may not nourish over the long term. Perhaps it’s a harsh conclusion to make, but people aren’t meant to utter their doubts, especially when those doubts relate to family, marriage and a lifetime of small sacrifices, that form the Read more:Cherry
Liaisons - Intro 2007-02-24 02:07:40 Liaisons: Entering the Arachno-Web
As far as I’m concerned a new sexual era opened up when satellites, and telephone network exchanges enabled the Internet -initially a military tool - embraced the wider population; the freedom it offered, enabling humble everyday citizens and businesses to fly aloft, took the world by storm, and still does. Now we have moved beyond dial up connections, entering wireless Speak. There is satellite, ADSL/Broadband and cable; the ancient relic of dialup is something one may laugh at if one comes across it.
“You haven’t got broadband?” is a common question. Convenience, and fast information, is important; one need not wait twenty seconds for a dodgy page to load before sighing in disappointment. One click and its gone, one click and we are off somewhere else, one click and we may even locate a potential screw.
Tradition is the cornerstone of all relationships within my family, where most adults have met their partners the conventional
Cherry Pop & Cock-a Cola 2007-02-22 12:46:54 I’m not entirely sure what’s worse: having sex for the first time, or encountering a monolith cock. Perhaps both?
The other: How long is a woman supposed to wait until she has sex, and is a long wait a deterrent for some men? Is virginity, at a later than usual age, a burden. Do men avoid virgins that are over their mid twenties out of fear of being seen as the ‘one’? Are there too many expectations?
I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my virginity beyond twenty five. I was seventeen when the cherry popped, and I didn’t tell the guy at the time. He found out in the heat of the moment, and felt like I ripped away his moment of glory. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ were his words, and I’ll never forget the look on his face; the night unfolded without formal ceremonies. He didn’t open doors, and we drank ourselves to the point of absurdity. Alcohol and sex don’t mix well. A little too much alcohol will inhibit the regular processes during arousal, and it Read more:Cherry
On Asscrack & Spread 2007-02-22 10:00:44 I sat my butt down on the seat opposite my building before work, pondering the existential elements of the morning. Well, as much a smoke would allow; people entered the building without so much as a smile on their faces, and I then pondered the meaning of it all when my thoughts were spliced by a half naked male, whose shorts balanced precariously near his coccyx, offering me a view and a half.
Ass crack: men either love flaunting it or they’re totally oblivious to it (even though I doubt it, as they’d feel a small draught of wind on the apex of their butt cheeks).
Maybe it’s the Mediterranean in me, but lily white skin is something that I can’t get used to. I don’t find it erotically enticing during summer because it inadvertently says that one doesn’t get out much.
He didn’t walk, he swaggered, and I nearly choked on my smoke; his shorts were two or three sizes too big, and I thought I’d revisit a fun lunch I had at Doyle’s Seafood restaurant (when two dru
To Cum or Not to Cum 2007-02-21 23:55:37 To cum or not to cum, the female orgasm can be elusive for many women when a partner is added to the mix. While many sex therapists advise purchasing vibrators, a vibrator will always outdo human stimulation. Vibrators remind me of downgrading a factory, where robots are added to replace human labor and before people know it they’re made obsolete. Vibrators are about efficiency, and while they work well to confirm a woman’s orgasmic state - in situations where many women think they’re incapable of orgasming - they can also become highly addictive; a vibrator stimulates more nerve endings, sure, but it doesn’t really provide a natural example of sexual arousal.
When a vibrator is used ‘right’, a woman can cum in less than five minutes. Compare this to the usual setting, intimacy with another person, and it may take longer or a woman may not cum at all. Some surveys have correlated the orgasm with a woman’s intellect; smarter women are less likely to climax during sex.
Sex, Money, Air Travel & Guatanamo Bay 2007-02-20 22:57:27 If you're down on your luck, hate your job or simply need a financial boost there's a surefire way to get that cash without being a game show contestant, reality game show contestant or hooker.
The method involves sex, but it's a one off. The only catch is that people will view you as a parasite, but hey, who cares when the cheque arrives in the mail.
Sex, Crime and Celebrities. These three things can be mangled to arrive to the money recipe as we're all aware of. The continuation of the Fiennes saga blossomed in a typically Aussie manner this week with Woman's Day suckling on the story, and no doubt a few thousand were given to the air hostie who disrobed. Now what irritated me about her about turn was that she made out that she was 'violated' in some way, during the time she tried to save her job, and now, after she's received the money, she waxes lyrical about him being a ten out of ten. So in the beginning she made out that he was the 'aggressor', and that very word imp
The Big '0' (Zero) 2007-02-20 14:43:18 I’m not sure what depresses me more, or if it depresses me because I’ve been conditioned to find it depressing over the years. All I know is that I’ve curbed the jiggle blues each time I glimpse a magazine cover; up to a decade ago, the flash of a spindly thigh or pancake tits on a magazine cover would really put me into a head spin. I’d vow never to eat another donut, and aim to measure every single calorie and fat gram; I was obsessively hideous. It was followed by many bouts in a gym, a vicious circle really.
One time I dated a person who thought they’d be ‘nice’ enough and subscribe me to Victoria’s Secret, only for me to receive the first catalogue in the mail, and think ‘where’s a life sized paper bag so I can step into it?’ When he asked me if I liked the catalogue, I apologized, telling him that there was nothing in that damned thing that my ass would fit into. I’d be lucky if one of my ass cheeks fit into the skimpy undies within that brochure.Now al
Swimmingly....Semen... 2007-02-20 12:22:28 I surfed around as a form of escapism this evening, casting the net wide to see what I'd find, or what appeared interesting. I was reading a few sex articles and came upon a rarely reported phenomenon, that no adult film director would want to know about.
If we rewind back a century ago, or maybe a millennium, the sex that our ancestors were having differed from our type of sex (these days one has to be a contortionist, and engage in Porno Speak like 'F#%$k me now!'). That’s pretty straightforward. The other, they didn’t have the medication we’re all accustomed to, so they also lived through common sexually associated ailments such as thrush - which appears in a popular TV ad downunder for Pfeizer's Diflucan, 'watch me treat thrush...right about now', or the commercial equivalent of Rocky & Bullwinkle, "Hey presto, got nothin' up my sleeve, watch me pop a Diflucan tab and treat thrush!"
Uncomfortable eons ago? Definitely. This afternoon I came across an i
Kung Hei Fat Choy 2007-02-18 12:48:49 Today was the first day, Chinese New Year’s Day. As always, it’s a day that is decked with festivities, food, and colour.
We arrived at Chinatown in Haymarket in the afternoon, and were overwhelmed by the crowds; there are plenty of stalls lining Dixon Street that are filled with food, products, more food, and amusements for the kiddies. It was already hot when we arrived; a half hour amid the throngs increased the temperature, so we ended up cooling off at the Chinese Gardens of Friendship at Darling Harbour.
So it’s the year of the pig. Finally, I thought but I had a quick peek at known ‘pigs’ and thought that I could swimmingly deal with Lucille Ball, Woody Allen, Kevin Spacey and Thomas Keneally being born in the year of the pig, but lordy me, Henry Kissinger? It’s an interesting mix. In case you're wondering, I'm born in 1971, which falls into a Piggy year :)
It was my first time at the gardens, and I was floored by an elaborate jade bridal carriage at the
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