Owner: That's Phucked URL:http://www.thatsphucked.com Join Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:09:12 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Crazy phucked up blog and articles about anything and everything. Articles include Vagina a how to guide, Why do we love the drunken girl, Prostitutes and bullets, Scrotum Self Repair and much more.
Cake or Bed? 2008-09-21 23:30:00 A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts,
'honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
It's been flickering for weeks now'.
He looks at her and says angrily,
'fix the lights now?
Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead?
I don't think so'.
Fine,
then the wife asks,
'well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right '
to which he replied,
'fix the fridge door?
Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead?
I don't think so'.
'Fine', she says
'then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break '
'I’m not a carpenter and I don't want to fix steps'.
He says, 'does it look like I have ACE Hardware written on my forehead?
I don't think so
I’ve had enough of you.
I'm going to the bar!!!! '
So he goes to the bar and drinks for a
couple of hours……&hel
Lehman Brothers Makeout 2008-09-20 23:30:00
Around 43 seconds into this film, awesome, hat off to those guys!
Lehman Brothers Makeout 2008-09-20 23:30:00
Around 43 seconds into this film, awesome, hat off to those guys!
New Dollar Bill Issued 2008-09-19 23:30:00
With the market the way it has been recently, the US Treasury has decided on a new design for the Dollar.
The new bills will be in circulation within the next 30 days.
New Dollar Bill Issued 2008-09-19 23:30:00
With the market the way it has been recently, the US Treasury has decided on a new design for the Dollar.
The new bills will be in circulation within the next 30 days.
Virgins? 2008-09-18 23:30:00 Alexi, Ahhh, Sexy Alexi. This boy is amazing in bed, absolutely shockingly awesome. Considering his lack of experience (which only includes two other girls, whom were both virgins.) We had been dating, and were arguing a lot. I told him he was acting different towards his friends, and that I didn't like being the cause of that. I told him it wasn't working, and ended it. He came running after me as I walked back to my car, he grabbed me by the arm. We talked about it and discussed it, and decided things could work out.
I headed to a party with Laiho, "Cute but Slow", Screamer, and Screamers band mate 'Rhythm' (rhythm guitarist for the band). All the people that they lived with were there, already pretty drunk. I'm trying to get a game of Halo 2 started and keep wandering back and forth between the living room and Cute but Slows room. I walk into the room to see Screamer on the bed, in his socks. I'm not afraid of feet so I scoop one up and
Virgins? 2008-09-18 23:30:00 Alexi, Ahhh, Sexy Alexi. This boy is amazing in bed, absolutely shockingly awesome. Considering his lack of experience (which only includes two other girls, whom were both virgins.) We had been dating, and were arguing a lot. I told him he was acting different towards his friends, and that I didn't like being the cause of that. I told him it wasn't working, and ended it. He came running after me as I walked back to my car, he grabbed me by the arm. We talked about it and discussed it, and decided things could work out.
I headed to a party with Laiho, "Cute but Slow", Screamer, and Screamers band mate 'Rhythm' (rhythm guitarist for the band). All the people that they lived with were there, already pretty drunk. I'm trying to get a game of Halo 2 started and keep wandering back and forth between the living room and Cute but Slows room. I walk into the room to see Screamer on the bed, in his socks. I'm not afraid of feet so I scoop one up and
How Does Britney Spears Really Sing Like? 2008-09-17 23:30:00
If anyone has ever wondered why Britney Spears lip syncs, now we know.
This video allows us to hear what she would sound like if she really was singing.
In this HBO special we're listening to an actual recording of her microphone.
Let's just say it sounds like complete crap!
How Does Britney Spears Really Sing Like? 2008-09-17 23:30:00
If anyone has ever wondered why Britney Spears lip syncs, now we know.
This video allows us to hear what she would sound like if she really was singing.
In this HBO special we're listening to an actual recording of her microphone.
Let's just say it sounds like complete crap!
Thai Sex Shows 2008-09-16 23:30:00
Following on from Yesterdays Thai Massage Parlors we have the Thai Sex Show.
There are basically 2 kinds. The regular sex show and the show with animals!
Surprisingly, Mr. Phucked ran at out of time for the animal show. I was too busy avoiding the Lady Boys!
It really is amazing what Thai women can do with their Vagina. They really are very talented!
The sex show consisted of:
Picking up beer bottles with their vagina
Firing an egg out of their vagina
Firing ping pong balls out of their vagina into a target bucket
The finale to this show was a girl who managed to pull out of her vagina 100 pins all tied together with string.
This was truly amazing. So when she was done with her performance, I had to ask how she did it.
Apparently the trick is to insert them carefully behind the stage with the sharp ending pointing inside her. On stage she carefully pulls them out, with the blunt end coming out first, thereby preventing vaginal injuries (hopefully Read more:Shows
Thai Sex Shows 2008-09-16 23:30:00
Following on from Yesterdays Thai Massage Parlors we have the Thai Sex Show.
There are basically 2 kinds. The regular sex show and the show with animals!
Surprisingly, Mr. Phucked ran at out of time for the animal show. I was too busy avoiding the Lady Boys!
It really is amazing what Thai women can do with their Vagina. They really are very talented!
The sex show consisted of:
Picking up beer bottles with their vagina
Firing an egg out of their vagina
Firing ping pong balls out of their vagina into a target bucket
The finale to this show was a girl who managed to pull out of her vagina 100 pins all tied together with string.
This was truly amazing. So when she was done with her performance, I had to ask how she did it.
Apparently the trick is to insert them carefully behind the stage with the sharp ending pointing inside her. On stage she carefully pulls them out, with the blunt end coming out first, thereby preventing vaginal injuries (hopefully Read more:Shows
Thai Massage Parlors 2008-09-15 23:30:00
“You like happy ending”? Is probably one of the most famous phrases, but how true is it really?
My trip to Thailand included Sex shows, various Massage Parlors as well as the regular crap like temples, clubs, bars, beaches and some great restaurants. But I know you all want to hear about the sex shows and massage parlors.
There are basically 3 kinds of massage parlors. The regular massage parlors that are legit. Massages where happy endings are offered and the buffet style where you choose your girl(s) for sex.
Regular Massage Parlors
$20 for 1 hour full body massage except penis, great value, feels very relaxing but that’s not why you’re reading this article!
Happy ending Massage Parlors
$25 for 1 hour full body massage with a twist…
At the end she will whisper into your ear and ask “you like special massage?” or the now famous line “You like happy ending?”
The price of this varies on the girl, anywhere fro
Thai Massage Parlors 2008-09-15 23:30:00
“You like happy ending”? Is probably one of the most famous phrases, but how true is it really?
My trip to Thailand included Sex shows, various Massage Parlors as well as the regular crap like temples, clubs, bars, beaches and some great restaurants. But I know you all want to hear about the sex shows and massage parlors.
There are basically 3 kinds of massage parlors. The regular massage parlors that are legit. Massages where happy endings are offered and the buffet style where you choose your girl(s) for sex.
Regular Massage Parlors
$20 for 1 hour full body massage except penis, great value, feels very relaxing but that’s not why you’re reading this article!
Happy ending Massage Parlors
$25 for 1 hour full body massage with a twist…
At the end she will whisper into your ear and ask “you like special massage?” or the now famous line “You like happy ending?”
The price of this varies on the girl, anywhere fro
Vacations with Sex! 2008-09-14 23:30:00
OK Guys, thinking about your next vacation?
Want to be guaranteed sex whilst on vacation?
Let me tell you about my trip to Thailand, specifically PhuKet…
Phuket is small town by the ocean, great beaches, nice hotels, cheap food and a slut buffet.
Venturing out at night to the clubs and bars you will find them full of woman willing to do anything and entice you to take them home.
Some are local girls looking for a good time and many are hookers selling a good time. I found the following:
- Bunch of 4-5 girls all dressed as school girls (All willing to go home together)
- Bunch of nurses
- Bunch of cheerleaders
- Lots of single girls alone and many with “friends” who can join them
In other words, a pervert’s paradise!
If you’re looking for a local, simply buying them a nice dinner ($10) will get them home with you.
If you want them even faster the local hookers will go home for $20 the whole night!
Want two at the same time? $50 and anyt
Vacations with Sex! 2008-09-14 23:30:00
OK Guys, thinking about your next vacation?
Want to be guaranteed sex whilst on vacation?
Let me tell you about my trip to Thailand, specifically PhuKet…
Phuket is small town by the ocean, great beaches, nice hotels, cheap food and a slut buffet.
Venturing out at night to the clubs and bars you will find them full of woman willing to do anything and entice you to take them home.
Some are local girls looking for a good time and many are hookers selling a good time. I found the following:
- Bunch of 4-5 girls all dressed as school girls (All willing to go home together)
- Bunch of nurses
- Bunch of cheerleaders
- Lots of single girls alone and many with “friends” who can join them
In other words, a pervert’s paradise!
If you’re looking for a local, simply buying them a nice dinner ($10) will get them home with you.
If you want them even faster the local hookers will go home for $20 the whole night!
Want two at the same time? $50 and anyt
1 Girl 1 Plate 2008-09-13 23:30:00
It's been a while since we added more crap to the site and I think it's time!
The last one we added was the 1 Girl 1 Pitcher Video and we have followed up with what Mr. Phucked likes to call 1 Girl 1 Plate.
It does not take a PHD to figure this one out. 1 Girl takes a crap on a plate and maybe, just maybe, someone will eat from it...
Remember, you must be at least 21 years of age to watch the 1 Girl 1 Plate Video!
This text will be replaced
1 Girl 1 Plate 2008-09-13 23:30:00
It's been a while since we added more crap to the site and I think it's time!
The last one we added was the 1 Girl 1 Pitcher Video and we have followed up with what Mr. Phucked likes to call 1 Girl 1 Plate.
It does not take a PHD to figure this one out. 1 Girl takes a crap on a plate and maybe, just maybe, someone will eat from it...
Remember, you must be at least 21 years of age to watch the 1 Girl 1 Plate Video!
This text will be replaced
Sexy Reaction Video 2008-09-12 23:30:00
I sometimes check out the reaction videos to That's Phucked on YouTube.
Currently there are 48 videos of people watching videos on this site and recording their reactions to them.
Check them out here
But my favorite was one recorded by "sparklebooger"
She has a cute Pomeranian dog which is the same breed as my friend's dog but most of all, she is VERY sexy and can you say perfect breasts?
Sexy Reaction Video 2008-09-12 23:30:00
I sometimes check out the reaction videos to That's Phucked on YouTube.
Currently there are 48 videos of people watching videos on this site and recording their reactions to them.
Check them out here
But my favorite was one recorded by "sparklebooger"
She has a cute Pomeranian dog which is the same breed as my friend's dog but most of all, she is VERY sexy and can you say perfect breasts?
Amazing Six Legged Cat 2008-09-11 23:30:00
Looks like the "other" cat is not alive? Not sure...
Amazing Six Legged Cat 2008-09-11 23:30:00
Looks like the "other" cat is not alive? Not sure...
Funny Spy Camera 2008-09-10 23:30:00
Sometimes there are things you just don't want to see!
Funny Spy Camera 2008-09-10 23:30:00
Sometimes there are things you just don't want to see!
The Romantic Foibles of Esteban 2008-09-09 23:39:00
I found a link to this internet TV show I did voice over work for when I first came back to LA. And by voice over work, I mean made a bunch of sex noises into the video. You can hear me in the giant orgy scene -- I'm the one with the somewhat whiny high-pitch... and you can hear me again in the climax scene (when the girl's foot shoots up on the table and starts convulsing -- that's me!).
Read more:Romantic
The Romantic Foibles of Esteban 2008-09-09 23:39:00
I found a link to this internet TV show I did voice over work for when I first came back to LA. And by voice over work, I mean made a bunch of sex noises into the video. You can hear me in the giant orgy scene -- I'm the one with the somewhat whiny high-pitch... and you can hear me again in the climax scene (when the girl's foot shoots up on the table and starts convulsing -- that's me!).
Read more:Romantic
Roses are red, violets are blue; it's been two months, where the hell are you? 2008-09-08 11:02:00 "Jan,
Unfortunately, whatever happens in Vegas, doesn't stay in Vegas. I'm pregnant.
Annik"
Wouldn't that be a fucked up email to have to send someone thousands of miles away in Europe? Good thing I don't have to... yet.
I haven't seen my period in two months; not since the Peter Hook shows.
Where could my period be? Most likely in Denmark!
Boyfriend:"That shit ain't mine."
Me: "It's not mine either. It belongs to a guy in Denmark!"
I decided that if it is true, then I would send him a singing telegram in Copenhagen.
We proceeded to come up with the many ways this message could be delivered in a poetic, "roses are red" form:
Roses are red, violets are blue, a month ago I was screwed, and so are you!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've gotten bigger because I'm eating for two!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm having a baby and you are too!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Vegas sucks an
Funniest email from a foreigner EVER 2008-09-07 02:45:00
From a Hungarian guy I went on a date with a
month and a half ago. This email was sent to me on August 3rd, which I
had totally forgotten about till now:
Hey Annik,
how are you? So, unfortunately we didn't find solution for my problem. You know, to stay here. :-(
So, at September 30 I'll go to home (Hungary).
I
hope you won't be cross with me but I would like to be straight. We met
and talked one time and hopefully you see I'm not a pushy guy and
hopefully you feel symphaty to me. :) If you remember I told you I
never had sex with asian girl, I miss sex, I would like to hear
speeking my partner in english language during sex and I would like to
speek in hungarian language during sex ... So, I don't want to offend
you by my email but I would like to ask you: if you are open for spend
with me some hours (maybe not one time) I would be happy! :) You know
my conditions around me, you saw me, we talked ...
So, I just want you to know, I would
Favorite Sex Toys 2008-07-17 23:30:00
The following is from one of our readers describing her favorite sex toys.
Feel free to chat with her too, her screen name is "sexymutha85" and you can chat with her in the forum!
I have a HUGE collection of toys. My favorites are split up in 2 different categories.
My "Me" toys and my "Couple" toys. My top 5 favorites would have to be:
My "Me" Toys
My We-Vibe.. I just got it a week ago and I love it.
My Spicy Waterproof Rabbit. I have a variety of rabbit vibrators but that's my favorite.
My Venus Butterfly.
I can't remember what this one is called. But its coordinated with my cell phone which vibrates every time my phone rings.
My lipstick vibrator. I am a very sexual person (meaning I'm extremely horny all the time) so there are times when I'm out and about and I feel the need to cum. So I can slip into a bathroom, changing room, or my car
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